Eastern meditation techniques and psychology can help you to overcome these "social" obstacles. These social obstacles might include isolating, difficulty relating with others, and aving a hard time "fitting in".
For myself, the reason why I had poor relations with others in
my social group was that I had a very poor relation with myself. I
could not accept any negative feelings in myself - feelings of anger,
hatred, fear and depression - and would refuse to accept them into my
consciousness. I would criticize and beat up on myself whenever I felt
these emotions. Naturally since I could not accept these feelings within
me I could not accept them in others. I would criticize others - often
to their faces - when they behaved in ways that I did not like, and I
did not like a lot of things. Such behavior would clearly be unacceptable
in any country or culture, from someone as young as I was then and who
was also financially dependent on his parents.
There was another consequence of my excessive criticism of myself. I
would simply refuse to accept certain feelings into my consciousness.
Hence I could not understand it when people around me felt those or
similar emotions. Think of it this way. A person who has never felt
anger will be unable to understand or empathize when people around
him feel angry. He will not be able to co-relate this with his own
internal experience because he has never felt it. What is required is
that the person should experience anger, re-claim his angry feelings,
and accept these feelings as his own. Only by dealing appropriately
with yourself can you have good relations with others.
Eastern psychology - particularly Buddhist psychology - insists that a
person should welcome all thought and feelings, as they arise, into
his consciousness. Just accept it into your consciousness and leave
it there - no need to verbalize or think or debate with yourself
whether the feeling is appropriate or not. Simply accept. The feeling
will pass of its own accord because it is impermanent. And you will be
free of this feeling yourself and better able to deal with it in others.
There is a technique called the Sedona method that teaches how to
release negative feelings as they arise. Check it out if you like. I
have purchased the program and found that it did not live up to all
the claims that were being made for it. But the basic concepts - that
of welcoming your feelings as they arise so hat they dissolve of themselves
- are valid and find support in Buddhist psychology.
You may want to purchase the Sedona method program but it is expensive.
And indeed meditation will give you the same benefits. Simply practice
focusing on your in breath and out breath for 30 minutes daily. Remember
to welcome and thus dissolve all thoughts and feelings as they arise in
your meditation. You can sit on a chair to meditate. Thus for 30 minutes you
will be in meditation, free from the clutches of the ego, and you will
arise completely refreshed.
No comments:
Post a Comment